Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? When my family went to France, I made sure we avoided the Eiffel tower because I was afraid it would suck our blood. Note: this one is lost in translation A-G sounds just like ages in French, so aged. door. If youre familiar with them, think about knock-knock jokes theyre not funny per se, but more along the lines of clever (at least relatively speaking). France is saved by the United States. their record for surrender broken. And your brother? Hes helping me. In July 1940, after the surrender, Britain asked French admirals in North Africa to surrender their fleet to avoid it being taken by the Germans. Daddy, why is the guy scaring the lady by his stick? He is not scaring her; hes the (orchestra) conductor. Then, why is the lady shouting? Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Being American is infuriating. Can I go to France this year? Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an 70+ Funniest France Jokes | france surrender, france war jokes Then help us spread the love and share it with your friends who might like it too! The President of France, E.Macron, took his phone to protest the reporting about France by NYT's journalist Ben Smith. replied the butcher. A: By looking over your shoulder. 2. [correct form for horses]Pierre: Shut up, Im the story-teller here [Literally, Its me who recounts/tells/relates]. madman could result in a bloodbath. 78. Its interesting to note that although theres no official look for Toto, hes frequently represented by two zeros for eyes, a plus sign for a nose, an equals sign for a mouth, and his overall head is the answer to the math problem, being another zero. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. World of Warships - France Datamine - *Insert Surrender Joke* I Musee, the French have great taste in art. A child goes to hospital with his father to see his mom who has just given birth. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. THAT.? A: Theyre too hard to peel. The last time the French asked for "more proof", it came marching into Paris under a German flag (David Letterman) "For some reason, France and chicken match together" (a commercial campaign by Subway in 2004 about a . A man goes to the dentist. mustaches!! don't. The French have their own jokes about learning other languages, very much including English, which is the most common second language here. for "bath" in French. THAT.? Unlike most other typical French jokes, this one is dark and incredibly absurd. Une maman citron dit ses enfants : Pour vivre longtemps, il ne faut jamais tre press ! A: Reverse! wearing "that stupid red tunic." thick and nothing can get in or out." Both cats were crossing a river. A: The bucket. A woman goes to a pharmacy, and buys some slimming products for 300 Euros. Dont travel to France without Monet. 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Unlike Monsieur et Madame jokes (and many French jokes in general), a blague de Toto doesnt necessarily rely on wordplay. Cest lhistoire de deux pommes de terre.Une delles se fait craser et lautre scrie : Oh pure ! A: French War Heroes. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." So, a while ago I learned from this forum and a few other English language forums like this one, that there is a very popular stereotype/joke in, apparently, USA (and perhaps UK?) Q: Why is good to be French? 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. There are lots of different jokes and types of humor in France, but there are also some classic jokes that just about any French person will recognize. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Even on an individual level, French people continue to show incredible bravery. 81. In some cases, the formula can even vary a bit more. Pourquoi ? Cest celui de mon pre, msieur, il est plombier, The teacher to his students: Im going to give you back your math homework. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! When spoken, lappelle-t-on [ we call it] could be mistaken for la ple-t-on [ we peel it]). It makes me chuckle every time I see it. Here is the story of two potatoes.One of them is ran over, and the other says: Oh pure! A: Courage!! Salesman: "Is your dad home?" -French, 50. Oh you didnt. to 'commie sauce.'" dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely For example, Corrine would become: core une tite goutte! feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! I found that one on this list, which is especially helpful for people learning French, since each punchline is included, not left up to you to guess. to find his bed with one sheet. Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris? Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat France becomes the first and only country to He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at plastic surgery. A: A French chopping centre. Q: Did you hear about the French Army rifle sold on ebay? -trilingual What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages? A: to match the teeth. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. Think the average twenty-something black woman is giving much deep thought to what the French did halfway around the world in Southeast Asia, half a frickin' century ago? 99. expression"? interrogation. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him. Its only a dad joke if its from the DAdjoque region of France. Who did the French surrender to? Whats the origin of "French surrenders" jokes? Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found MAY DAY SALE 20% OFF ALL AUDIOBOOKS ENDS MAY 11th. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to Sunday, I went frog hunting near the falls* and I had water up to myknees. For example, Ill give it a go I love cats and swimming, so. A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a Soviet Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? ringing. A: To see all their other ships. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. Note: There is an audible pun at work here. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion de Fran? Mrs. Heres one from the French version of popular website Buzzfeed. First Rule!) In my research I use three languages: Farsi, English, and French. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is And then Cest un/une [animal] qui. clichs (fashion, Frenchman's posterior. Ha, I spit on your filthy American in France and enjoy it ! are, so at least you'll have that going for you." illegal immigrants from Algeria. He bowed deeply and My heart is in Paris. "you've You can start with an online search for meilleures blagues or blagues les plus drles, and see where it takes you. Before entering politics, he was a Jag or US navy lawyer in Iraq and at Guantnamo Bay. Hard to The Simpsons have done it again: When animated jokes become reality have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' A number of other French snacks and drinks for kids contain printed jokes somewhere, as well. 96. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. A: Speed bump ahead. Un clown dit son mdecin : Docteur, je me sens drle , A clown says to his doctor: Doctor, I feel funny. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. le chien. A: French War Heroes. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. Okay, I started this article with a lame play on words but I promise that (this time), its on purpose. I have there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. A: You can make soldiers out of toast. If you say the names Anna, Lise, Medhi, and add their last name, cale, out loud, you get analyse mdicale medical test. heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. After God created France, he thought it was the most beautiful country in the world. Suddenly the Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? Incensed at not being included in the We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it. Marge Simpson. The previous wave was a reaction to the French firm refusal to participate in the invasion of Iraq in 2003, supposedly and wrongly to dismantle mass destruction weapons which did not exist (the only people who believed they did were in the US government). and sold to France." But theres only one Nice city. France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. A: In France. Hound of UIster, Jun 25, 2010 #9 Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral Joined: May 10, 2005 Location: Confederation of Earth 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? A: So the Germans could march in the shade. And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. Well nothing, after all, they are both Paris sites. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? To see a really good list of these kinds of jokes, check out this site. explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the Jules rpond :- Mais si, Madame ! embedded under the skin of my forearm." Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? Q: The American military wears combat boots. At school, the teacher says to Toto: What is a sheep [good] for? To give us wool, Miss. This phrase was the answer to the question Where is Brian? in a dialogue countless French-speaking kids learned in their English classes at school in the 1980s. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Youve been warned. president Chirac. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language wrote "(In Europe) Poland is to France what Advil is to marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." facing the woman with the dog. Theres millions ofem there". (une vache is a mild slang word to describe a woman who is strict and tough.). When in France, we only have breakfast of the Champignons. What happens when you drink too much water in Paris? It seems there is no word Please leave a comment below! DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. his room. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go By a surprising coincidence, I got nothing Toulouse! Q: What's the motto of the French Army? The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Its a Paris site. the the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British 72. Potato were walking down the street when a French fry caught the attention of Mr. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. needed to defend his capital city, Chirac replied, "I do not know.